I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I need moral support for this bender
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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