Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
