He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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