one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I didn't notice because vodka
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
