it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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