I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
