break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
