I wanna bring you to show and tell
Someone shit on the floor
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
