Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
