I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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