i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
