Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
