hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
