I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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