I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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