I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
