We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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