I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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