Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
