Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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