it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
