I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
ok first of all what the fuck
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
