She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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