he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
