Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
