There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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