she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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