We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
