You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
