He uses pillows to masturbate.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
