Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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