He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
