and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
