We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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