i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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