I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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