Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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