just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My balls are so social today.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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