I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
