And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
