I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
