I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize