I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
