margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
