Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize