I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
