I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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