if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
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