she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
