we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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