I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
