i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
